Katherine Betts interviewing fellow twin mom Bonnie
We're back with another Mom of Multiples Hero! This series aims to celebrate our parenting and personal successes, because it's too easy to talk about what we're not doing instead of focusing on our wins.
If you missed the first post in the series, you can find it here. Today I'm handing over to a fellow PV Mom and personal friend; our boys are the same age and it has been wonderful to have someone to talk to that is going through the same issues at the same time!
Q1: Please introduce yourself. How old are your children and what's your favorite thing about them?
My name is Bonnie. I'm an Arizona native and was an interior designer before I became a mom. My identical twin boys are now 22 months old. Aaron is two minutes older and acts like the 'older brother' by nurturing and caring for his brother and others around him. He has the biggest heart & the most compassion I've ever seen in such a small person. Aaron loves music-- especially playing instruments.
Ethan is determined/ stubborn. He never gives up when his mind is set on something, which is great when he wants to put shoes on by himself, but not as great when he insists he doesn't want to wear shoes outside in 110 degree weather. Ethan loves sports-- playing or watching!
Q2: What's the one thing you wish you'd known before having your multiples?
One thing I wish I would've known, is that it's okay to sit the kids in front of the tv! My boys will be two in October and I just started putting a show on for them so that I can shower & get dressed. It's a huge help & relief! I thought I was doing the 'right thing' by keeping the tv off, but I was just making my life harder than it needed to be!
Q3: How do you practice self-care? What do you do to pick yourself up after a tough day with the kids?
My self-care is showering every day. It's a bit embarrassing to admit, but for the first 1.5 years, I didn't do much of that because I didn't have time and when I did; I was too exhausted! Now I look forward to it & enjoying using my favorite soap or fancy products to pamper myself & feel special for 15 minutes.
After a tough day with the kids, I eat junk food and watch Netflix. I wish I could say 'I retreat to my studio to paint' but that's a goal for the future.
Q4: What has been your biggest struggle and how did you overcome it? (or how are you currently working on it?)
My biggest struggle was letting go. I was known to really REALLY like cleanliness and order. A surprise pregnancy with twins in the situation I was in has really humbled me and helped me grow. I never thought I'd be so calm when one baby is peeing & pooping on the floor, the other is throwing dinner all over the walls, and the dog is barking to go out while we are running 30 minutes late to an event. I just tell myself 'I can clean it up' and 'I have a good reason to be late'.
These boys are more important to me than a pretty house. And I'd rather be late and patiently watch them put on one.... two... one again... shoes on at a time, than to rush them out and them see me as the stress-ball-mom that I used to be.
Q5: What has been your Mom of Multiples Hero hero moment? That moment you gave yourself an internal high five because you were totally bossing it?
Mom of Multiples Hero moment? Breastfeeding the boys for me. Because it was something I was really determined to do... it got to a point of stubbornness to be honest.
They wouldn't latch, and they had to have the tongue and lip tie procedures as well as a chiropractor for their torticollis which can affect latch too. I got mastitis and many painful clogged ducts daily. I had a horrible case of postpartum depression and some days didn't want to even try. I had a Lactation consultant visit me daily and she tried 'every trick in the book' as she put it.
When was I successful...? When I let go. When I finally realized 'I love these boys no matter how they're fed & I will find other ways to show them!' I told everyone I quit breastfeeding. I cried. A lot. Then I moved on. I bathed and rocked Aaron one night; I was relaxed & singing... and he latched on!
These boys have taught me so much, but the best thing I've learned so far, is to just ditch the long list of rules & live life by ENJOYING it (and them ❤️❤️).
* and to give myself a compliment once a day (just a little reminder to myself that I'm doing something I'm proud of)
Thank you Bonnie for your honestly! I think we all need a reminder to relax and enjoy life more, I know I do.
Calling all Moms of Multiples... we would love to feature you in our 'Why I'm a Mom of Multiples Hero' series! Please get in touch if you'd like to answer our questions and share your awesomeness with other moms. We all need a little help sometimes, and focusing on the little wins can be the perfect pick me up on a tough day. firstname.lastname@example.org or connect with me on Facebook.
Have something you would like to share? Email email@example.com to find out more about writing a blog post.